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catharsis_logs1. What happened to us
2. Nothing like you
3. Gone tomorrow
4. This is why you'll never win
5. Fall
1.
Whatever did happen to us? I met you, you met me. We were each other's other halves. We had the kind of life that many other people wanted to live, strived to live, but we were unique in our own partnership. I wondered what you thought of when you looked to the sky, not believing in other life out there in the distant distance. 'your eyes' you told me once when I asked. I felt flattered, and in awe that I should be compared to such power. I have no power on earth, save having been one of the stars in your eyes.
2.
I was nothing like you, and you were nothing like me, two sides of a different coin. We revolved around each other's differences. We were never boring to each other. Or at least, you were never boring to me. I have no idea if I was ever boring to you, I'm sure I was, though even when asked you would say 'never' and 'stop being so insecure'. Looking at you, was like looking into a funhouse mirror, the image was warped and blurred, and contorted my figure into a thousand different shapes, but it was still somehow mine. You are mine. Or at least, for a short time, you were.
3.
You were gone yesterday, you still are gone today, you will still be gone tomorrow. I have no idea where you went. It's almost like you never existed, the only things left are the empty places where you once were. The dust-free emptiness where your chair once sat. The hollow halved closet, where once you hung your clothes. Your voice is gone from the air, having once been so commanding, it's barely a whisper in my memory now. Your body is gone from my bed, all hard planes and soft skin, I still sleep only on one side of it and I reach out for you when I sleep.
4.
I know you, I know that somewhere you are laughing at me and my depression. You would tell me to 'get over it' and softer words of 'it's alright now, I'm not in pain anymore.' Even though I never knew you were in any sort of pain. Perhaps that's what cuts me so deep, you were apparently fighting a battle, a battle to keep me from knowing. Your harsh words and normal bluntness helped cover a depression so deep it drove you to-
5.
I watched you jump off a building three years ago today. I only now moved your stuff out of the house. I decided today, that I needed to move on from you, to stop being the stars in your eyes, to stop being fascinating, to just stop. I'm standing on top of the roof, standing exactly where you fell, I look down at the empty street, glad that there's no one there to see me lose the battle. I take a step over the edge-
And a hand grabs a fistful of my shirt and drags me away from the edge. 'Don't you dare,' your voice breathes into my ear, 'don't you dare stoop so low. You can't leave now that I've just come back' you collapse to the concrete of the roof and I collapse with you, finally, finally letting my grief for you go. I'm flying now, amongst the stars, I am Sol, and you are Earth, you fascinate me, I fascinate you, everything is so clear now that I've fallen. I love you. I missed you. And I will never let you go again.
2. Nothing like you
3. Gone tomorrow
4. This is why you'll never win
5. Fall
1.
Whatever did happen to us? I met you, you met me. We were each other's other halves. We had the kind of life that many other people wanted to live, strived to live, but we were unique in our own partnership. I wondered what you thought of when you looked to the sky, not believing in other life out there in the distant distance. 'your eyes' you told me once when I asked. I felt flattered, and in awe that I should be compared to such power. I have no power on earth, save having been one of the stars in your eyes.
2.
I was nothing like you, and you were nothing like me, two sides of a different coin. We revolved around each other's differences. We were never boring to each other. Or at least, you were never boring to me. I have no idea if I was ever boring to you, I'm sure I was, though even when asked you would say 'never' and 'stop being so insecure'. Looking at you, was like looking into a funhouse mirror, the image was warped and blurred, and contorted my figure into a thousand different shapes, but it was still somehow mine. You are mine. Or at least, for a short time, you were.
3.
You were gone yesterday, you still are gone today, you will still be gone tomorrow. I have no idea where you went. It's almost like you never existed, the only things left are the empty places where you once were. The dust-free emptiness where your chair once sat. The hollow halved closet, where once you hung your clothes. Your voice is gone from the air, having once been so commanding, it's barely a whisper in my memory now. Your body is gone from my bed, all hard planes and soft skin, I still sleep only on one side of it and I reach out for you when I sleep.
4.
I know you, I know that somewhere you are laughing at me and my depression. You would tell me to 'get over it' and softer words of 'it's alright now, I'm not in pain anymore.' Even though I never knew you were in any sort of pain. Perhaps that's what cuts me so deep, you were apparently fighting a battle, a battle to keep me from knowing. Your harsh words and normal bluntness helped cover a depression so deep it drove you to-
5.
I watched you jump off a building three years ago today. I only now moved your stuff out of the house. I decided today, that I needed to move on from you, to stop being the stars in your eyes, to stop being fascinating, to just stop. I'm standing on top of the roof, standing exactly where you fell, I look down at the empty street, glad that there's no one there to see me lose the battle. I take a step over the edge-
And a hand grabs a fistful of my shirt and drags me away from the edge. 'Don't you dare,' your voice breathes into my ear, 'don't you dare stoop so low. You can't leave now that I've just come back' you collapse to the concrete of the roof and I collapse with you, finally, finally letting my grief for you go. I'm flying now, amongst the stars, I am Sol, and you are Earth, you fascinate me, I fascinate you, everything is so clear now that I've fallen. I love you. I missed you. And I will never let you go again.
