Green with envy
May. 2nd, 2012 10:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catharsis_logs I'm working on getting over my 'things' with Sammy. Trying not to think too hard about it, and working on not going green with envy at every little thing Samantha does without me. lol, it's hard. In thinking of Loki from Thor (Marvel) I really am a lot like him. My jealousy is starting to make me feel sour and jaded. Cynical too. Bleah, I really need to get into my Buddhist studies, so that I can work on not being attached to too much. (Like Samantha, or my material objects -like this computer-) So that I can float above the world and not be affected by too much negativity or even positiveness.
It's really amazing how I can turn positive things into negative so quickly. Like being over at Sammy's for instance. I should be happy to be here, and I am but I'm also moody and slightly cranky (being up earlier than usual does that to me). Noah is really cute though, and he's a lot bigger now too! He's pretty cute, though I don't really think babies are all that great, I'll be happy when he's like 11 or 12. lol. He intimidates me too, like I don't want to hold him, and I don't want to interact too much with him. I'm scared that he won't like me, or that I'll do something to break him. XD I know it's irrational but I can't help it! :0
Anyway, my new obsession is Thor/Loki. I just love them together. I don't care that they're brothers they're so pretty and they have such a great (angst) dynamic. I especially love the stories where Loki's a kinder gentler (out-of-character) person. I also like it when he accepts his Jotun side, and is married to Thor. Those are my favorites and I especially love it when they have a happy ending together.
It's really amazing how I can turn positive things into negative so quickly. Like being over at Sammy's for instance. I should be happy to be here, and I am but I'm also moody and slightly cranky (being up earlier than usual does that to me). Noah is really cute though, and he's a lot bigger now too! He's pretty cute, though I don't really think babies are all that great, I'll be happy when he's like 11 or 12. lol. He intimidates me too, like I don't want to hold him, and I don't want to interact too much with him. I'm scared that he won't like me, or that I'll do something to break him. XD I know it's irrational but I can't help it! :0
Anyway, my new obsession is Thor/Loki. I just love them together. I don't care that they're brothers they're so pretty and they have such a great (angst) dynamic. I especially love the stories where Loki's a kinder gentler (out-of-character) person. I also like it when he accepts his Jotun side, and is married to Thor. Those are my favorites and I especially love it when they have a happy ending together.
