![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catharsis_logs I seriously feel like I should have a tag for Sammy because I talk about her THAT much. I feel sorta like anyone reading this journal/blog is going to get sick of hearing about Sammy but screw it, it's my life and she's THAT important to me.
It sounds like things have been going both well and bad for her. She has a job now that she loves (she plays the Little Mermaid in a carnival/circus-type thing.) but I'm getting the distinct feeling that Joseph, her husband is out of the picture right now and that that might be a source of pain for her? I don't know because she kinda kept me out of the loop on that area/didn't want to talk about it. (Which hurts a little because I feel like she doesn't trust me enough to talk about it and at the same time I understand, she might just want to be happy with me and not have sadness take over the conversation when we were talking for the first time in months.)
There's also some AWESOME news. She's living in PORTLAND now!!! And she's going to be going to PCC (portland community college) and LIVING IN PORTLAND WHILE I'M LIVING THERE! We're going to be in the same city for the first time in years. *so excited* She wants to meet up for lunch on the 28th which is four days after school starts for me and three/four weeks after surgery. I'll probably wear a really tight shirt just to show off my new chest.
It's funny, my counselor has said this about me, and I've realized that it is SO true. That I need to 'refresh' my image of the people that I love and don't have a lot of contact with that I don't trust 100% When I'm out of contact for a long time, I get distorted views of the people that I love and that love me. Like Sammy, you read the previous (almost all of my journal entries) journals about Sammy that I've written and I was convinced that our friendship was coming to an end. Then I get this call from Sammy today and she's all sweet and says that she misses me a lot and that she loves me and that I'm like a brother to her. Yes, she said brother. :D (while I (kinda) want to be more, lately I've become more and more content with being just her friend/brother. Plus she's a lesbian, so one of us would have to give up our views of ourselves (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) to be together and I don't want to be with her if I have to be a 'butch lesbian' and I don't think she wants to be with me if it makes her 'straight'. Then there's the point where neither of us is sexually attracted to the other... at least I don't think... lol)
So in other words, here's a Sammy-positive journal for the first time in a long time! This is actually perfect because it's making me look even more forward to being in Portland instead of dreading it. I was moaning and worried that I wouldn't have anyone to be my friend while in Portland and that turned out to be not true! What a nice happenstance/karmic thing to happen!
YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYYAYYAYAYYAAYYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
It sounds like things have been going both well and bad for her. She has a job now that she loves (she plays the Little Mermaid in a carnival/circus-type thing.) but I'm getting the distinct feeling that Joseph, her husband is out of the picture right now and that that might be a source of pain for her? I don't know because she kinda kept me out of the loop on that area/didn't want to talk about it. (Which hurts a little because I feel like she doesn't trust me enough to talk about it and at the same time I understand, she might just want to be happy with me and not have sadness take over the conversation when we were talking for the first time in months.)
There's also some AWESOME news. She's living in PORTLAND now!!! And she's going to be going to PCC (portland community college) and LIVING IN PORTLAND WHILE I'M LIVING THERE! We're going to be in the same city for the first time in years. *so excited* She wants to meet up for lunch on the 28th which is four days after school starts for me and three/four weeks after surgery. I'll probably wear a really tight shirt just to show off my new chest.
It's funny, my counselor has said this about me, and I've realized that it is SO true. That I need to 'refresh' my image of the people that I love and don't have a lot of contact with that I don't trust 100% When I'm out of contact for a long time, I get distorted views of the people that I love and that love me. Like Sammy, you read the previous (almost all of my journal entries) journals about Sammy that I've written and I was convinced that our friendship was coming to an end. Then I get this call from Sammy today and she's all sweet and says that she misses me a lot and that she loves me and that I'm like a brother to her. Yes, she said brother. :D (while I (kinda) want to be more, lately I've become more and more content with being just her friend/brother. Plus she's a lesbian, so one of us would have to give up our views of ourselves (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) to be together and I don't want to be with her if I have to be a 'butch lesbian' and I don't think she wants to be with me if it makes her 'straight'. Then there's the point where neither of us is sexually attracted to the other... at least I don't think... lol)
So in other words, here's a Sammy-positive journal for the first time in a long time! This is actually perfect because it's making me look even more forward to being in Portland instead of dreading it. I was moaning and worried that I wouldn't have anyone to be my friend while in Portland and that turned out to be not true! What a nice happenstance/karmic thing to happen!
YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYYAYYAYAYYAAYYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
no subject
Date: 2012-09-07 09:44 am (UTC)