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catharsis_logsEvery week my dad meets with his radiologist after his radiation on tuesday. They do a CT scan every time he's in for radiation and it's really cool because that means that we have before and after shots of his tumor. Last week my dad's tumor had actually had a pretty decent change in size for the better. It's not a miracle but it is in the doc's own words "really interesting to see". It's shrinking! YAY!!! His last week of chemo is next Monday and his last radiation appointment is on the 28th of this month! Then it's a year of immunotherapy (one dose every month, and we can do it in town so we don't have to drive 35 mins away) and four more years of observation before my dad can be declared completely cancer free/in remission. So things are looking pretty good. *crosses fingers and hopes for the very best*
I am still tired, and getting moreso. I used to write down every day what I've done and that's fallen by the wayside, a little less than every other day I am also collapsing into bed without brushing my teeth. I'm starting to feel cranky and unsatisfied and restless, which is usually a pretty good sign that I'm more tired than I usually prefer to be.
Once the main hump of my dad's treatment is over (beyond the immunotherapy) I can actually make doctor appointments for myself XD. I'm also probably going to be fucked up for a while and take a mini vacation to recover some of my energy levels. But I do want to do more things with my dad, like a bimonthly trip to a park or something so we can hang out.
I am still tired, and getting moreso. I used to write down every day what I've done and that's fallen by the wayside, a little less than every other day I am also collapsing into bed without brushing my teeth. I'm starting to feel cranky and unsatisfied and restless, which is usually a pretty good sign that I'm more tired than I usually prefer to be.
Once the main hump of my dad's treatment is over (beyond the immunotherapy) I can actually make doctor appointments for myself XD. I'm also probably going to be fucked up for a while and take a mini vacation to recover some of my energy levels. But I do want to do more things with my dad, like a bimonthly trip to a park or something so we can hang out.
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Date: 2021-12-19 12:13 am (UTC)Both taking a mini vacation to recover and finding cool things to do with your dad sound like great ideas. Good luck taking care of yourself during these last couple of weeks of stressful far away appointments. <3
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Date: 2021-12-19 10:25 am (UTC)It's interesting, I was talking to my physical therapist today and told her that I was kinda not looking forward to the recent events being over with (daily trips to another town for treatment for my dad with grocery shopping packed in, etc.) not because I'll miss any of it at all (except maybe hanging out with my dad in the car) but because my body is gonna go "oh, time to rest! coma time!" aka I'm not looking forward to the crash that will be coming haha.
On the other hand it will be nice to start building my energy levels back up again. I've been wanting to do certain things that I've been holding myself back from for now cuz of this situation with my dad and balancing my energy levels.
I've actually been using a little metaphor about how I'm on a tightrope and have a pole in my hands to help balance. Each side has different spoons. One side is the 'responsibility' side and the other side is the 'coping mechanisms' side. If I take a spoon from either side to put it on the other I lose balance and fall off the tightrope onto the net. Every time I fall onto the net I come back up to the tightrope with a smaller amount of spoons on either side, so I have to feel out the balance again, only this time I have even less energy for 'responsibility' and 'coping mechanisms'.
Thank you for your well wishes and I hope you're having a good weekend and will have a good week. <3
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Date: 2021-12-19 07:49 pm (UTC)So understandable! But yeah, as unpleasant as that sudden drop can be, it'll be really good once you've gotten the chance to rebuild your supply of spoons. And what a cool/interesting metaphor with the tightrope! I think I'm going to quote you to my mother (who was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia and is working on remembering not to push herself too hard) if that's all right!
And thank you for your wishes, too. My weekend's been pretty good so far, so here's hoping next week keeps up the good work!
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Date: 2021-12-20 11:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-21 06:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-28 04:52 am (UTC)For an example before I figured out that there was something wrong with my energy levels I had a really hard time brushing my teeth. I would go days and days and days before finally brushing my teeth out of desperation because I'd had a bad dentist's visit. But when I started figuring out my energy levels and the things that would drain it I was able to find a balance where I was brushing my teeth every single night! And the only time I've had a really hard time brushing since (never more than three days) is during this time with my dad's cancer and helping him out. So now I know that this whole situation was a bit beyond my tolerance levels and yet if this had all happened like two or three years ago I'd be a complete mess. So I must be doing something right XD
So it's a real balance between making sure I'm being taken care of, that I'm feeding myself, taking care of my hygiene, having some me time while also attempting to figure out how to spend time with my family and also making time to have fun while also paying attention to the balance of it all so that I don't fall too far off of any of them.