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Aug. 2nd, 2022 02:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catharsis_logsFigured I'd say hi since I haven't in a while! For once things seem to be going relatively okay. Well, I'll update you on the bad stuff, but for now I've been pretty chill this week.
Dad fell off the porch. He's okay but I was there to watch it happen, and the one to see the bleeding when he asked if he was, and to take a dad dripping with blood to the ER where he got 13 stitches in his face. He didn't hit his head so there was no head trauma of that kind, just blood and scarring and scaring(heehee).
Dad crashed my car but the car is (mostly) okay and so is he. Going to get work done on it on Thursday, insurance covered a lot but I'm also replacing the side mirror from where my sister fucked it up enough to have it hanging off the side of my car but not enough to take it off completely when she hit a garbage can when practicing driving. Since then we've had it on with duct tape but the weather has been so hot and dry recently that when my dad hit the other car it just snapped out of the duct tape. It still isn't all the way off but now that I have an excuse I'm replacing it.
Dad's having hip problems. Hopefully later this month someone is going to see him about it and hopefully suggest Physical Therapy rather than a new hip. He's having trouble walking, which is a lil worrying, but not enough to not go out and do yard work. Now that he got the mower fixed I think he's enjoying being out there and seeing the progress of his work (we have blackberries).
Sister got her gallbladder removed. She was having a lot of pain in that area and when the doc tested it they said she had like 8% function or some crazy number so they got her in relatively soon (but not soon enough to have my sister in less pain.) She got it done on the 13th, which is a lucky number for her and the surgery went well.
My dad's voice got fucked up at some point, he says it's allergies and that it's been like this before but I have my doubts. He now sounds almost like a stereotypical old man. It's almost like his voice is breaking but in reverse, when he tries to get loud it stutters and goes into a falsetto.
I've been (somewhat) managing my CFS. I'm not watching movies or tv anymore, which seems to help (movies and tv are sensory nightmares, like 5 different kinds of overstimulation and each one exhausts me) but it also sucks because those are our family's primary mode of having fun together so occasionally I'll get this huge spike of loneliness when I know my dad and sis are watching stuff together.
I'm trying to avoid serious cynicism or depression as I wander around my grocery store wearing the only mask (besides the poor staff) in the place. I'm just kinda pissed off at my fellow american (lol) because everyone not wearing a mask and that weren't wearing a mask (beyond those who literally couldn't/can't) are the ones that mean I'm going to be wearing a mask for the foreseeable future.
I'm looking to get my foot in the door for stock market/investing stuff because shit out there is looking pretty scary and fucking money is the only thing that seems to have any power anymore. I want to be able to take care of myself, my family, and then use the rest of the money to give to causes I believe in: like trans rights, getting people out of poverty, helping people prepare for before and after disasters, I dunno, it feels like the height of arrogance but I want to do something, and money is the only thing that seems to count anymore *extremely bitter*. The system is built to take advantage of people so I want to use the system to take advantage of the system.
I'm reading a lot of Harry Potter fanfic. Mostly Snape/Harry, because for some reason I just can't stand Harry/Draco. I think it's because I just really don't like Draco at all as a character. Snape is a gigantic bully and an asshole but he has maybe one (1) redeeming quality. That and I'm just fond of teacher/student and 'this younger man is the only light in my deeply depressing life', which is also why I like Kakashi/Naruto so much... also All Might/Izuku. What can I say I love romantic stories with some element of forbidden love.
I think regular doses of testosterone, good psych meds(+therapy), and management of my CFS mean that I'm not as overwhelmed by things. I'm reading a fanfic right now that I can appreciate and read and cry just a touch at certain times but that doesn't completely fuck me up where I'll cry a lot and fall into a slight depression or panic attack.
I keep saying about certain things like "if this happened a decade ago (it's interesting to say that and know I was still an adult at that time) I would not have handled it nearly as well". Like my dad and the porch, my sis and her gallbladder, interacting with the asshole at gamestop (there's an asshole at gamestop), etc. I'm grateful that I'm not (as much) that high-strung easily upset person anymore.
Also I might be getting a dog soon! At least by the end of the summer. *crosses fingers that it all goes well*
I hope you're having a lovely summer and that conservative assholes, late-stage capitalism, and the weather aren't getting you down.
Dad fell off the porch. He's okay but I was there to watch it happen, and the one to see the bleeding when he asked if he was, and to take a dad dripping with blood to the ER where he got 13 stitches in his face. He didn't hit his head so there was no head trauma of that kind, just blood and scarring and scaring(heehee).
Dad crashed my car but the car is (mostly) okay and so is he. Going to get work done on it on Thursday, insurance covered a lot but I'm also replacing the side mirror from where my sister fucked it up enough to have it hanging off the side of my car but not enough to take it off completely when she hit a garbage can when practicing driving. Since then we've had it on with duct tape but the weather has been so hot and dry recently that when my dad hit the other car it just snapped out of the duct tape. It still isn't all the way off but now that I have an excuse I'm replacing it.
Dad's having hip problems. Hopefully later this month someone is going to see him about it and hopefully suggest Physical Therapy rather than a new hip. He's having trouble walking, which is a lil worrying, but not enough to not go out and do yard work. Now that he got the mower fixed I think he's enjoying being out there and seeing the progress of his work (we have blackberries).
Sister got her gallbladder removed. She was having a lot of pain in that area and when the doc tested it they said she had like 8% function or some crazy number so they got her in relatively soon (but not soon enough to have my sister in less pain.) She got it done on the 13th, which is a lucky number for her and the surgery went well.
My dad's voice got fucked up at some point, he says it's allergies and that it's been like this before but I have my doubts. He now sounds almost like a stereotypical old man. It's almost like his voice is breaking but in reverse, when he tries to get loud it stutters and goes into a falsetto.
I've been (somewhat) managing my CFS. I'm not watching movies or tv anymore, which seems to help (movies and tv are sensory nightmares, like 5 different kinds of overstimulation and each one exhausts me) but it also sucks because those are our family's primary mode of having fun together so occasionally I'll get this huge spike of loneliness when I know my dad and sis are watching stuff together.
I'm trying to avoid serious cynicism or depression as I wander around my grocery store wearing the only mask (besides the poor staff) in the place. I'm just kinda pissed off at my fellow american (lol) because everyone not wearing a mask and that weren't wearing a mask (beyond those who literally couldn't/can't) are the ones that mean I'm going to be wearing a mask for the foreseeable future.
I'm looking to get my foot in the door for stock market/investing stuff because shit out there is looking pretty scary and fucking money is the only thing that seems to have any power anymore. I want to be able to take care of myself, my family, and then use the rest of the money to give to causes I believe in: like trans rights, getting people out of poverty, helping people prepare for before and after disasters, I dunno, it feels like the height of arrogance but I want to do something, and money is the only thing that seems to count anymore *extremely bitter*. The system is built to take advantage of people so I want to use the system to take advantage of the system.
I'm reading a lot of Harry Potter fanfic. Mostly Snape/Harry, because for some reason I just can't stand Harry/Draco. I think it's because I just really don't like Draco at all as a character. Snape is a gigantic bully and an asshole but he has maybe one (1) redeeming quality. That and I'm just fond of teacher/student and 'this younger man is the only light in my deeply depressing life', which is also why I like Kakashi/Naruto so much... also All Might/Izuku. What can I say I love romantic stories with some element of forbidden love.
I think regular doses of testosterone, good psych meds(+therapy), and management of my CFS mean that I'm not as overwhelmed by things. I'm reading a fanfic right now that I can appreciate and read and cry just a touch at certain times but that doesn't completely fuck me up where I'll cry a lot and fall into a slight depression or panic attack.
I keep saying about certain things like "if this happened a decade ago (it's interesting to say that and know I was still an adult at that time) I would not have handled it nearly as well". Like my dad and the porch, my sis and her gallbladder, interacting with the asshole at gamestop (there's an asshole at gamestop), etc. I'm grateful that I'm not (as much) that high-strung easily upset person anymore.
Also I might be getting a dog soon! At least by the end of the summer. *crosses fingers that it all goes well*
I hope you're having a lovely summer and that conservative assholes, late-stage capitalism, and the weather aren't getting you down.
