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Dec. 17th, 2025 05:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catharsis_logsSo my sis's BF J lives with his dad in an expensive apartment the next town over (which has been both a pain and a good growing point for my sis because she's learned how to take the bus over.
Anxiety is interesting, because sometimes I can feel (like just now) my ability to think slowly seep away.
Also a struggle between wanting to help, but not wanting to support a ''moocher''? I don't know his ability to stand up for what he wants/needs and follow through. So far he's being hampered in those abilities by his dad, who has been late with rent (/not having enough at the end of the month) twice now, and this time after sis told him (after paying their rent) that she doesn't want to support them financially often (as a boundary) and this is like the month after that happened.
I'm struggling with practicality, because if he moves in then we'll have more money to pay our bills; but at the same time I'm an introvert, and simply having one more person living in our house at all is a debt on my energy that's going to stay there.
I also don't like feeling trapped. I worry about if the relationship goes sour and he needs to leave how that'll go. I haven't seen him under severe stress and I don't know how he handles his anger. I don't know what conflict with him looks like. I've only ever really had interactions in a semi-toxic way with my sis' boyfriends. I was able to talk things through with my dad and my sister (to an extent) in a calm manner (once I managed to calm down lol I'm chilling out a lot as I grow/thanks meds).
I told her&him(she's talking to him on the phone so I can't hear him) that I'd like him to see if they can pay the bill on Fri which is when they have the money, so call their landlord,maybe even just start looking for a new place to live, stay another month, and maybe last week of Jan he can spend a week here at our house so him being here for long periods of time becomes less scary. Because the energy debt is also going to be used up on the anxiety of getting used to each other.
J seems really nice. He's got some points in his favor because he's bi and when my sis was passing a kidney stone in a toy store and lying on the carpet he hummed a song from the Lord of the Rings. So far he's very quiet. So quiet it's kind of hard to hear him. I'm just not comfortable with him yet and that'll take some time.
Ending this here cuz I need to take an anxiety med, put food in the fridge, and (lol) check my bank account and pay some bills.
Anxiety is interesting, because sometimes I can feel (like just now) my ability to think slowly seep away.
Also a struggle between wanting to help, but not wanting to support a ''moocher''? I don't know his ability to stand up for what he wants/needs and follow through. So far he's being hampered in those abilities by his dad, who has been late with rent (/not having enough at the end of the month) twice now, and this time after sis told him (after paying their rent) that she doesn't want to support them financially often (as a boundary) and this is like the month after that happened.
I'm struggling with practicality, because if he moves in then we'll have more money to pay our bills; but at the same time I'm an introvert, and simply having one more person living in our house at all is a debt on my energy that's going to stay there.
I also don't like feeling trapped. I worry about if the relationship goes sour and he needs to leave how that'll go. I haven't seen him under severe stress and I don't know how he handles his anger. I don't know what conflict with him looks like. I've only ever really had interactions in a semi-toxic way with my sis' boyfriends. I was able to talk things through with my dad and my sister (to an extent) in a calm manner (once I managed to calm down lol I'm chilling out a lot as I grow/thanks meds).
I told her&him(she's talking to him on the phone so I can't hear him) that I'd like him to see if they can pay the bill on Fri which is when they have the money, so call their landlord,
J seems really nice. He's got some points in his favor because he's bi and when my sis was passing a kidney stone in a toy store and lying on the carpet he hummed a song from the Lord of the Rings. So far he's very quiet. So quiet it's kind of hard to hear him. I'm just not comfortable with him yet and that'll take some time.
Ending this here cuz I need to take an anxiety med, put food in the fridge, and (lol) check my bank account and pay some bills.
