catharsis_logs: blurred ocean (Red-eye Loki by realproof)
[personal profile] catharsis_logs

I close my eyes
my tongue shifts in my mouth
awkward

The music plays
soft, rhythmic
sad

I close my eyes
my heart shifts in my chest
I feel like I'm going to die

my heart beats in my shoulder
pain every time I move
painkillers making my
head woozy
my memory faint

profound feeling,
depression sinking into me
phlegm in the back of my throat

I want to cry,
but have not the energy
to summon up the effort

I smile, slowly,
the song is ending
time for sleep

the cessation of pain
the numbness
endless feeling of dreams




[This is how I feel when I'm depressed and/or stoned on painkillers. This time, it's a little bit of both. One in reaction to the other, depression caused by pain. Ugh...]
This is the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6AZeCiqurM&feature=BFa&list=PL01BFCD914DA0B37C

Date: 2012-07-04 02:20 pm (UTC)
enemyofperfect: a spray of orange leaves against a muted background (Default)
From: [personal profile] enemyofperfect
I'm sorry about the pain and depression. :/

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Alexander

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